Valentines day

Once again it's that time of year where most girls who are single will be sat around feeling sorry for themselves, curled up on the sofa watching some sad, depressing movie eating the intire house inside out, Then crying over how much weight they've probably gained the next day. If 'St Valentine' was still alive today, i would tear him limb from limb. How dare he create such an atmospear where girls find themselves fat, ugly ect. Total cunt if you ask me.

I wish i had a penis

Ahhh, that familiar feeling is back. Once a month, I find myself asking the higher powers why I had to be a girl. Yet another day full of crying ovaries and raging hormones. Another day of irrational emotions which seem to miraculously disappear once chocolate makes an appearance. Why me? I hate thinking that my options include, and are usually limited to: wearing diapers, pussy plugs, or hippie cups. I wish, just for one day, that the roles could reverse and men could carry babies and deal with their reproductive organs bleeding. Just one day. How amazing would that be?!And why is taking a piss so god damn difficult? I’m sick and tired of hanging out with guys who can just casually whip out their members and take a piss when there’s no bathroom available. I mean, yes, there are times where I could get so desperate that I couldn’t care less and will pop a squat in the darkest corner I find, but it’s not the same! They can just unzip, pull it out and point it somewhere. Women, on the other hand, have to fully unbuckle their pants (unless they’re wearing a skirt/dress) and squat, all the while keeping their balance and aiming as far away from their clothing as possible. This is very difficult to do…especially while intoxicated. Actually, even simply going to a public restroom is difficult! Hovering over the toilet seat so your ass doesn’t catch some mysterious disease is not fun.

Today, well today was quite an unusual day. When we woke up this morning, after jumping in the shower i decided that i wanted to put on my false nails. I got everything set up, which nails i wanted to use and everything. All that was left was sticking them on. I got the glue out, but after about 10 minutes of trying to get the glue on the nail, i realised it didnt even have a hole for the glue to come out. So i gave it to Amy and asked her to find the solution on how to open it. She tryed a few different techniques and then just thought it would be easy to bite the top bit off. So she chewed away and after a while i looked at her, and she was just sat there with her mouth wide open and her tounge out! I was like wtf? She then started licking her knee which was friken funny. I took the glue from her and tryed biteing the top part off myself as Amy was to incapable. when i stopped, cause my teeth were aching i noticed that the nail glue had come out all in my mouth! I then new why Amy was pulling the faces she was. Me and her then started running round the house with our mouths wide open sticking our tounges out just incase we stuck our lips together or stuck our tounges to the tops of our mouths! lollol. We spent atleast 45 minutes trying to wash our mouths out, but the glue was just not budging! So after a while we gave up and just left it in our mouths. It come off eventually, as the day went by. Buy yes, I really advise everyone, not to bite the top ends off of a nail glue thingy. Bad move!

I FEEL SO EMBARRASED.

Erm, well, We got bored is how to put it blunty. So we decided to take a walk as we had been pretty much sitting on our arses all weekend, even though its only saturday, but we had friday off school, so it's like a long weekend, sort of thing. Get us? So anyways, we got up off our backsides and went wherever are feet dragged us. As usual, we decided to bring the digital camera along incase we found a moment which felt kodak :). We ended up on Oxford street then i was like...

"Amy, get my camera out."

then she was like...

"erm, erm, why?"

Then i was like...

"so we can take a picture? Obviously!"

Amy got out the camera then we were like ching chang chong, taking random snap shots, but this seemed to be one of the only ones that amused us.

Haha, on our journey these two men, (dressed as women) caught our eyes. It was so blaitent that they didn't want to walk past us because every time we stopped, they'd slow down. Eventually they'd grown balls, and stroled on past. As they went by, one turned and said..."I feel so embarrased right now!" and we laughed. I told Amy to give me the camera, and she hid round the corner as i took a run up and shot at the lezbian girl guys. Before sprinting round the corner before they turned around lollol. Very amusing.